023 | A Morning Thought

Long time no see

These faces you see on the street everyday were not created without hope: be kind to them. - Charles Bukowski

I am going to propose a few hypotheticals for your consideration, and it’s possible that they will be confusing. Jarring even. But by the end of this essay, maybe, just maybe you’ll understand, and if not, that’s okay, but if you were open-minded enough to finish reading, you’ve already made a massively positive step in the right direction (I think).

The faces you see on the street everyday were not created without hope, AND, the faces you see on the street everyday are good. All of them. The holy nun blessing the orphaned children on her doorstep, the young man serving soup at the homeless shelter, the banker in his limousine on Wall Street, the mother of four selling tortas out of an Igloo cooler on the corner of a construction site, the man getting arrested for robbery, and most importantly, you, whoever and wherever you are.

All of these people were created and brought into this world with hope, and are good. And this notion doesn’t apply solely to humanity, it also apples to all living livings. Wasps that sting, bears that attack, sharks that bite, dogs that lick, cats that purr, everything. So, then, the question we are all thinking - why do people do bad things if everyone is good? And not just bad things, but horrific things, like murder, rape, torture, and so on. Well, there are many schools of thought on this - the why behind the bad. Some may believe that there are those among us who are just born monsters, always have been, and always will be. This method of thought can be helpful when trying to cope with being wronged by another - it can help to reassure yourself that the one who wronged you is just terrible, that’s the way they are, and you got unlucky to get caught in their crossfire. A classic example of this is cheating in a relationship. Commonly said is the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater”. However, there is an issue with these thought processes, I believe, and it’s multi-layered, so bear with me as I attempt to peel them back to show you.

Overarching everything here is another question, one that is centered around a belief that living in a world that has the capacity for love, for peace, for goodness is optimal - do you want that? For the sake of discussion, let’s say yes. Okay, so now what? If everyone is good, and we don’t want to believe in monsters (because monsters mean the world can never be full of love, peace, and goodness), then why do good people do bad things? Unfortunately, not everyone (in fact most people) understands or believes in their value and self-worth. Most people have been told since birth that if you don’t brush your teeth for two minutes you are a bad boy. If you don’t get an A on your vocabulary test you are a bad girl. To a child, this rhetoric sticks with you, and we don’t always get As or brush our teeth for long enough, so naturally, we are bad. But it also sticks with you as a teenager, and an adult. You’ll never play tennis at USC, you’ll never get the job, you’ll never find love.

Going back to the above example, why does someone cheat on their partner? Well, if they’ll never find love, and aren’t good, then A) what does it matter? And B), more importantly, peoples actions are reaffirmations of their view of their own worth. If I am not lovable, and I cheat, and convince my partner to stay with me, ahhhh then I must be lovable. The thing is though, it’s never enough. That’s why cheaters continue cheating. It’s a ceaseless pursuit to test the bounds of their value and worthiness of love. But it doesn’t always have to be this way. Learning that your value, your worth, your goodness is inherent, and has nothing to do with anything other than your being, this mindset can stop the cycle.

With that said, it is a group effort, and this is where the Bukowski thought comes in. Be nice, to everyone. Kill them with kindness. Kill their negative self-perception with love and care. View everyone as good, and when you are wronged, know that it is not because of you, but rather because of them. Empathy instead of anger. Sympathy instead of sadness. Practicing this will make the world brighter. There will be more smiles, more hugs, less war, less killing. We are all good, and it’s the onus of every one of us to make sure each of us knows this.

How though, how how how? Being kind is a great place to start. What comes next is for you and your beautifully creative and caring mind to decide.